I remember sitting across the dinner table from a new American friend a few months ago, her baby boy in her lap and her two-year-old babbling in half-English, half-Macedonian, when she said the words that struck a chord in me.
"We are called to suffer. And being away from my family is my suffering."
Being away from my family is my suffering.
And I finally had words for the way I've been feeling this whole time.
I recently read an article that says, "Life overseas is a form of fasting." The writer goes on to say, "I want to know God deeply and I want Him to be known so much that I will risk scary diseases, fast from my beloved family and worldly comforts..."
When I fast from food and feel the pang of hunger, I am humbly reminded of my own humanity. It's a way to say, "As much as my body hungers for food, I am so much more hungry for You."
And when I feel the familiar longing for my family, I am reminded of my longing for Him, the One who is with me still now and forever. The One I can never get away from (Romans 8:38-39), because "...If I settle on the far side of the sea, even there Your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast" (Psalm 139:9).
And when I think of separation from my family as a form of suffering, I see suffering in a new light.
Suffering was not being able to rub my daddy's feet the way he liked or fix his meals when he was too sick to do it himself.
Suffering is far-away rejoicing in the birth of my first nieces instead of being able to hold them in my arms.
Suffering is listening to my precious mom's heart-hurts and crying with her over Skype instead of sitting by her side the way I want to.
Suffering is not being able to help paint Andy and DeAnna's new house, or go with Alex to Mississippi State football games, or see Ash looking beautiful in her bridesmaid's dress for a friend's wedding.
But in the midst of this suffering, I'm reminded... that it is good. The thing that is best for me and for my family is that I love Him most. To love Him so much that it makes even my most precious relationships on earth look like hate in comparison (Luke 14:26).
And so I choose to suffer in this way. Not out of guilt because of all He's done for me, but out of joy. Because it--He--is more than worth it.
"For as we share abundantly in Christ's sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too." 2 Corinthians 1:5
On suffering
Author: Abbey /
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4 comments:
Thank you so much for this. As Josh is getting ready for round 2 in Afghanistan, this was a word I really needed to hear. I love you.
Wow, Marian. That makes my "suffering" look trivial in comparison! Praying for you, friend. Love you.
Thank you, sweet Abbey. I love you. This spoke to my heart. I missed my niece's birthday yesterday. And summer vacation starts in Collierville today. My kids would be playing at their cousin's house. It helps to be able to call it suffering, even if it seems small. I do love HIm and He is so worth it.
You have taught me much about leaning on Him on the suffering road. Praise Him for His glory so clearly revealed in your suffering-joy. I love you so much!
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