abbey abroad :)

One year. It's been a whole year.

One year since Dad, Mom, Ashley, and Alex drove me to the airport at 4 AM. 

One year since my dad hugged me for the last time. I remember thinking that hug was too short.

One year since I crammed all I could into two suitcases and a backpack and left America for the first time.

One year since I moved to Macedonia.

When I think back over the past year, I wonder how a person can change so much in such a short period of time. I feel like a completely different person than the girl that got on the plane December 14, 2010.

I've learned that I can live on my own--and in a different country, at that. I've learned another language. I've discovered that I still want my mommy when I'm sick. I've realized that, if I can eat lamb's head soup, I can eat anything. I've cooked from scratch (gasp) and learned that, living alone, I really shouldn't bake things in large quantities.

I've become a lot more independent. I've... grown up.

I've experienced loneliness, and I've experienced incredible fellowship. I've seen Him give, and I've seen Him take away. I've felt the deepest sorrow, and I've felt the greatest joy. 

I'm quite sure that I've cried more this past year than I ever have in my life. Some happy tears, mostly sad. But more than anything, I've learned the truth of the Word of God. I've clung to these verses:

"For the Lord will not cast off forever, but, though He cause grief, He will have compassion according to the abundance of His steadfast love; for He does not willingly afflict or grieve the children of men."

"But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

"I will never leave you nor forsake you."

"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose."

I remember praying several times over the past few years that God would do whatever it takes to make me like Him. And I remember being reminded of that prayer when Dad was sick. I was scared of what that might mean. But again, He would remind me--all things work together for my good. And my good is to love Him and to be like Him.

I can honestly say that I love God more now than I did a year ago, and it's not because my life has been perfect. It's because, even in the most horrible times, He was there, quietly reminding me of His strong presence. Reminding me of my life's purpose: to know Him, to love Him, and to show Him to the world.

"In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith--more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire--may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ."

It's been a painful, stretching year. But I told Him long ago that He was worth it--and He's proven, over and over and over again, that He is.