abbey abroad :)

There's this show on TLC called "My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding". {I politically-corrected the name of the show for this blog post.} :) Have you seen it? I haven't. Of course, I do see the real thing pretty regularly! Now that it's warmer, I'll be seeing some sort of Roma wedding procession almost weekly. Since I haven't actually seen the show, I don't know much about it. But I believe it features weddings of Roma in Great Britain, and it seems like those are pretty different from the Roma weddings in Macedonia (but just as flamboyant!). So, just in case you find all things Roma as interesting as I do, let me share with you about Roma weddings in Macedonia!

One of the stereotypes of the Roma is the picture of a child bride. I've found that stereotype to be true in some areas, but not in others. Generally, they do marry young, often as teenagers. In the more rural areas that I visit, they seem to marry younger. But in the areas I visit where the Roma put more focus on getting an education, they usually wait to get married and sometimes even look down on those that marry young. When my Roma friends find out I'm 24 and not married, some of them nod approvingly, some jokingly call me an old maid, and some literally gasp. So there's quite a range of feelings on the subject. :)

Recently, a 17-year-old friend named Arifka got married. This is the first Roma wedding I've been to where I've actually known the bride, so I saw things more up-close than before. I only stayed for a few hours (and believe me, the wedding lasted much, much longer!), but I'll share with you what I saw while I was there.

Much of the celebration takes place outside, and basically the whole neighborhood shows up. While the bride and her family are making the final preparations inside, the groom's family comes for the bride. The joyful procession also includes musicians playing drums and zurlas. When the procession arrives at the bride's home, they stop in front of the house of the bride's family, where everyone outside starts dancing the oro, the traditional Roma circle dance.

That's a zurla. They're loud.

Meanwhile, the bride anxiously waits inside. She wears the traditional Roma dress, the shalvar. This is fancy stuff here!

The bride and me. She's short, I'm tall... awkward photos happen.

Her close friends and family come to see her and offer well wishes. Sweet Brima was crying as she congratulated and hugged her friend.



And, of course, in true Roma fashion, there is loud music and dancing.




The groom's mother and other female relatives enter the house. Then a veil is placed over the bride, and she is brought before her future in-laws. While they wait for her to come, there's more--you guessed it--music and dancing.

It was pretty smoky inside. Usually is!

The bride kneels at the feet of her future mother-in-law, and they do a few rituals that symbolize her joining their family and committing to serve her new family. The bride is then given a gift by her new family, including jewelry and a dress. Then, everyone moves outside (where the music and dancing have continued this whole time, by the way), and the bride leads the oro (circle dance).



The bride then goes back inside for  a wardrobe change--she puts on the dress she was just given by her new family. Then she goes back outside to join the oro again.






The dancing goes on for hours, and there are a few other traditions that take place, but I left at this point, so I'll have to tell you about them after the next wedding I go to.

Interesting note: Though I spent hours at the wedding, I never knew who the groom was!

Another interesting note: This was what they consider a small celebration, since it took place in the winter. I found out a few weeks ago that they will have another wedding in the summer! This is a pretty common occurrence.

Want to know how to pray for Arifka and her new husband? Here are a few ideas:

• I've heard that Arifka's new husband is a believer. As for Arifka, she's attended Bible studies before, but if she is a believer, she is very young in her faith. Please pray that both Arifka and her new husband will grow in their relationships with God.
• Pray that God will bless this new union.
• Pray that Arifka will have a good relationship with her new in-laws.
• Pray for material provision for this young family, as things are hard financially for all the Roma.